It’s likely that you’ve heard of and probably celebrated Gay Pride, but have you heard of Bisexual Pride Day? It’s also known as Bi-Visibility Day (23rd Sept). Lucy explains why you should celebrate this too, and finds out about the first bisexual crushes of 5 women.
After exclusively dating guys until the age of 28, I’m now in a long term relationship with a woman (nearly 2 years now!) but I never really had the big coming out moment. I didn’t feel ‘gay enough’, and even my girlfriend referred to me as a ‘straight girl’ for a long time into our relationship. She even had so called ‘friends’ trying to convince her that I would eventually leave her for a man because I wasn’t a proper lesbian. I also get my friends and family asking if I only fancy women now, which would completely erase the straight side of my sexuality. It’s taken me a while to realise that I’m not half gay or half straight, and that being fully Bi (or Pansexual) is a legit identity for me.
What does it mean to be Bisexual?
George Alabaster from LGBTQ charity Stonewall says: ‘Bi people are often a forgotten part of the LGBTQ community. Our experiences are commonly assumed to be the same as lesbian and gay experiences, and our identities are frequently made invisible or dismissed as something that doesn’t exist, by people both inside and outside of this community.
We face a number of negative stereotypes, the primary ones being that we’re greedy, manipulative, incapable of monogamy and unable to make our minds up – the last of which is the same as saying who we are isn’t real.
What are the assumptions about being Bisexual?
George said: ‘The assumptions about Bisexual people are also gendered. Bi women are more likely to be viewed as ‘actually straight’, their sexual orientation merely a performance to attract straight men, whereas bi men are frequently seen as going through a ‘phase’ on the way to coming out as gay.
To celebrate Bisexual Pride, I asked 5 women about their first ever woman-crushes:
Sex Educator Ruby Rare
“The first time I saw Meg from Hercules swaying onto my TV screen, my 8 year old brain went into full meltdown. THOSE HIPS?! They mesmerised me, and still do to this day. My insides felt buzzy, I became nervous and didn’t understand why. I wanted to be her, and be her best friend, and press myself against her. When Meg and Hercules have their kiss in the final scene I remember wishing I could be squeezed between both of them in that embrace. To this day, I don’t think there’s a sexier cartoon couple.”
“Pink was my first girl crush; back in the early 2000’s she crashed into my world with bleached pink hair and very VERY low slung cargo pants. I would occasionally burst into tears of bisexual confusion watching her music videos and still remember my synchronised dance routines to her 18 Wheeler album. Forever grateful TikTok didn’t exist back then to record them”.
Franki Cookney, sex and relationships journalist
“I was about 12 or 13 and I was on the beach in France with my family. I was lying on my stomach, reading and people-watching and I remember a woman walked past wearing a white bikini. She was probably in her early 20s, tanned, with dark hair. Weirdly I don’t actually remember if she was topless or not (although it was France so chances are she was).
What I remember was her bum in those white bikini bottoms and the way my stomach flipped. It felt like I’d been kicked in the groin but in the best possible way. It was unmistakable as sexual attraction and I remember being surprised, yet also not surprised, embarrassed but unable to look away. I predominantly fancied boys at school, but over the next few years of puberty and early adulthood, I would think about that white bikini a lot and sort of masochistically enjoy letting those confused feelings of excitement and shame wash over me.
Becky Young founder of Anti Diet Riot Club
“My first girl crush was without a shadow of a doubt Angelina Jolie. I was 11 years old and watching Girl, Interrupted at a friend’s sleepover, when I don’t think we were supposed to and the craziest, sexiest, scariest actor on the screen was to become my obsession for the next decade. I watched everything she was in, fantasised about being her girlfriend in ‘Gia’, vehemently defended her against the Team Jennifer lot, and then got extra bi when I had vivid day dreams about meeting and snogging her and Brad Pitt at the same time”.
Emily Lavinia from aceandboogie.com
“My first crushes were all magical fighting women AKA Julia Roberts as Tinkerbell in Hook and also the mermaids. Not enough people talk about the hot mermaids. Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy, obviously and Rose McGowan in Charmed. There was something about the particular combination of magic, ambition and sass that really did it for me. ”.
Writer Dee Montague
“Jet from Gladiators! I think I was about 8 or 9 and it was all very confusing. We went to see Jet turn on the Christmas lights in Hereford one year and I was so excited. I think I told mum I loved Jet, and asked if I could marry her. Mum was like “Ooohhhkay!””.
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