It’s not a nice feeling dealing with jealous friends; their comments and lack of support will in time take a toll on your mental health. But if the friendship is important to you, avoid taking it on face value and instead have a raw and honest conversation to avoid a toxic friendship. Confrontation can lead to conflict but ignoring the behaviour can have long term damage on your relationship. To help keep your friendship intact, relationship expert at Condoms.uk, James Thomas, has shared his top tips on how to deal with jealous friends…
A relationship expert on how to deal with jealous friends
1. Be honest
It might be wise to help your friend understand things from your perspective. From their viewpoint your life could look ‘perfect’. Share your struggles as well as your achievements and always provide a listening ear. By showing compassion, it provides a safe space for them to admit their true feelings. This is a slower process than full confrontation, but it can become to road to revelation.
2. Avoid being confrontational
Remember that you can’t control the behaviour of others, only yourself. If your friend becomes defensive, try not to hit back. Instead remain calm and try to find a root of the envy. Jealousy is often a result of deep insecurities that have nothing to do with you. Finding this out will diffuse the situation and reduce any overthinking.
3. Create space
If the tension caused has become difficult to deal with, it might be wise to take some time apart. Having a break will help the both of you to put everything into perspective and allow your friend to remind themselves of the root of your friendship. Sometimes friends can take bonds for granted and fail to realise the bigger picture of their actions.
4. Don’t ignore the issue
If you ignore the problem, you will end up making the issues worse. Pretending your friend isn’t jealous will fester the feeling and cause you to resent them over time. You know your friend better than anyone else, so when the time feels right to tackle the situation, just take a deep breathe. If your friendship is important to you, take the plunge.
5. Look at their point of view
Jealous behaviour will cause your friend to lash out and create a gap between the two of you. Before getting upset, try to see things from their point of view. Decide on the next move by seeing the situation from their eyes. You might find that you are bragging without intention or that your friend has insecurities in that particular area of life.
6. Give it time
Once you have the raw conversation with your jealous friend, take a step back. Emotions will be running high, and your friend will need more time than you to let go of their jealousy. Space will help them digest the information and how they’ve been making you feel. Once time has passed, they hopefully would’ve come to their senses to fix the bond.
7. Give your friend attention
Soothing a jealous person is the same as a child, they need time, compliments, and attention. By reminding them of their positive traits and the nature of your friendship, it will help to remove their longstanding negativity. Jealousy has roots in low self-confidence, so if they can build this up, you’re on the right track. Always be genuine with your advice and compliments and have your friend’s best interest in heart.
Liked this article on How To Deal With Jealous Friends? Read this article about signs of a toxic friendship.
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Hettie is the editor and co-founder of DOSE. A keen runner, she’s also partial to a blast of high-intensity and hot yoga. A country girl at heart, she divides her time between London and the lush rolling hills of North Devon. When she’s not jetting off on her next adventure, Hettie can be found in a candle-lit alcove with a laptop, a spaniel and a full bodied Malbec.