The taboo around female sexual pleasure needs to end. Pleasure should be a priority for everyone, no matter their gender. However, women are still rarely encouraged to get to know their pleasure points. Empowering women to become the explorer of their own bodies, DOSE writer Emily rounds up the top tried & tested sex toys for female pleasure…
Today’s sex toys have had a serious *glow up*. With so many options on the market, they can now be used to not just enrich your sex life (alone or with a partner), but also the intimacy that you share with yourself and others. And let’s be serious. If you don’t know your own pleasure zones then how are you going to explain them to your current and/or future lovers?
Why should we talk about female pleasure?
Female pleasure doesn’t get half of the air time male pleasure does. And this is problematic, why, you ask? Because women like to masturbate too. Our sexual wellbeing is just as important. Better yet, it’s one of the true gifts of being a woman and actually, it’s an essential piece to our empowerment puzzle. Within conversations surrounding pleasure and sexuality, men are seemingly more confident in their voices than women. And why wouldn’t they be. They’ve been taught about their pleasure through education, the media and society their entire lives. Women have not had that same luxury.
So, we need to start at the root. Ergo: sex education should include talks about female pleasure. That way we’re all on the same page from the outset: sex isn’t just about pleasure for men, but women too. Instead of teaching women to be afraid of what could go wrong as a result of having sex (exhibit A), let’s empower them to have it safely and enjoyably. After all, this lack of education is what’s causing an increasing orgasm gap.
We spoke to Johanna Rief, head of sexual empowerment at Womanizer, to open up the female sexual empowerment conversation further: “Historically, female sexuality and pleasure have been oppressed and controlled. For far too long, there’s been a taboo around female sexuality, leading to a social imbalance between men and women when it comes to sex.
As a result, there’s still a lot of shame around female pleasure and masturbation, which keeps women from exploring their own bodies. But experiencing this type of pleasure can actually benefit our health & wellbeing. Not only can it reduce stress, improve quality of sleep, enhance moods and decrease mental restlessness, both the metabolism rate and blood circulation are promoted too.”
So you heard it here first folks: regular masturbation is essential to your mental and physical health. Acting as pain relief (especially from period cramps) and enhancing sleep quality, you’ll also get to know yourself and your preferences better. Masturbating allows you to build an intimate trust with yourself, one that you can then share with others.
“We have however seen great progress over the last few years when it comes to the visibility of female pleasure and sex toys.”
Johanna continues: “Brands like Womanizer have “landed” in pop-culture, where there’s evidence that sex toys have become more accepted by the mainstream. Ultimately, we want to empower women to reclaim their body and not be ashamed of owning their pleasure. One of the best ways to do this is by exploring your body, with or without a sex toy and learning what you like or dislike on your own. Taking the time to explore is key. There are a lot of myths and misperceptions out there which puts many women under pressure. Try to ignore that and focus on yourself and listen to your body and what feels good to you.”
So sign up for those all-good-for-you benefits, invest in yourself and add one of these to your sex toy collection…
BTW before reading on, remember: orgasms are great, and yes, we all want them. But, sex is about more than just having an orgasm. Pleasure is about the experience, not the expectation of the outcome. Real pleasure is messy, silly and light-hearted. You don’t have to reach climax to have fun. Use this article as your permission slip to explore your body, with no expectation.
Revealed: Best Sex Toys for Female Pleasure
Best for Beginners: Womanizer
For some entry level pleasure, you’re going to want go for a sex toy that really hones in on the clitorous. And if this is what you’re after, Womanizer is guaranteed to be your one way ticket to pleasure town. Featuring original groundbreaking air technology that pleasures the clitorous without any direct contact, the Starlet 3 (RRP £69) resembles the unique waves of suction. Hitting all of those extra sensitive spots, everyone with a clitorous needs one of these. Especially those who are struggling to orgasm. Incomparable to a finger or tongue, this powerful vibrator is a favourite amongst sex experts. Small and compact, it’s a great beginner toy that fits ergonomically in the palm of your hand. And because of its handy size, the toy can be used in couples play too. Good things really do come in small packages!
If you don’t mind investing in the start of your self-pleasure journey that bit more, Womanizer’s Classic 2 (RRP £119), while a higher price point, has a few more features to (quite literally) play with. From the extra stimulator head to its waterproofness, this toy offers orgasms on tap. Get ready for a night of good vibes.
Best for Self-Love: Chakrubs
Sometimes the best kind of love you can receive is the one you give yourself. As the original crystal sex toy company, Chakrubs offer sacred tools for self-love, healing and manifestation. By purchasing one of their toys, you are choosing to tell the universe that you’re ready to explore your own sensual body. Ready to delve into your humanness, connect to your sexuality and heal old wounds. More than just a sex toy but a toy of love, The Heart Original (RRP £160), is sculpted from pure rose quartz – the crystal of unconditional love. Created to reawaken the heart to its own innate affection, the wand provides a circulation of divine loving energy throughout one’s entire aura. Gently speaking to the heart chakra, it opens people up to truly giving and receiving love from others.
Not only can the toy be inserted internally, it can double up as an external object of beauty delivering the same results. Try placing it on your chest as you meditate, massage your body with it, or even simply use it to cleanse your space. However you choose to enjoy it, it’s a given that investing in this hardware will make you feel EMPOWERED. It’s called a ‘wand’ for a reason. This baby is pure *magic*.
Best for Sustainability: The Natural Love Company
Pleasure shouldn’t cost the earth. And thanks to The Natural Love Company (TNLC), it doesn’t have to. Striving to run a carbon neutral business (meaning they offset every gram of carbon created), TNLC offers some of the most eco-friendly sex toys out there. Offering both G-Spot stimulation from its vibrating shaft and C-Spot stimulation from its clitorial sucker, the Camphor (RRP £59.95) really is the best of both worlds. As the ultimate eco-friendly duo pleasure toy, each motor has a set of 10 independently controlled suction and vibration rhythms to push you over the edge.
Keep in mind though, the settings on this toy can be quite intense (only in the best way of course). So depending on what you’re after, we’d choose this one if you’ve got some experience with more basic toys. But if, like us, you still want to enhance sensitivity that bit further, pair with TNLC’s Simply Lube (RRP from £11.95). Water based with no nasties and that silky feeling of your bodies own lubrication, you really can’t go wrong with this combo.
Best for Couples Play: We-Vibe
Pleasure isn’t, and shouldn’t be, separate from sex. But sometimes, the pressure for females to orgasm (and males to get them there) can take over. With playfulness getting lost in the mix. Bring some sizzle back into the bedroom by using We-Vibe’s best-selling Chorus (RRP £179). A sure fire way of turning any night from zero to one hundred, the Chorus is worn during penetrative intercourse. As a c-shape toy adjustable to any vulva, it stimulates both the clitorous and G-Spot, while also providing vibrations to the partner. Hitting all kinds of spots for both parties involved, it can provide brand-new types of orgasms. And even better, the simultaneous kind, yes please. And don’t worry, it stays put so you can carry on your usual business without overthinking that it’ll slip out.
Absolutely unrivalled in the couples sex toy department, the Chorus even allows you to put your partner in charge of your pleasure when they’re not with you. This is not a drill. Through the (free) We-Connect app, your partner can take over, tease and give you pleasure from anywhere. Another city, country or continent, you name it. WHEW, we couldn’t believe it either. While an investment for sure, this toy will be an ally to your sex life. With over 75% of women unable to orgasm through penetrative sex, our partners need to do all they can to support us. And this toy is how. If you need any more convincing to invest in this one, one five-star reviewer wrote: ‘this toy saved my marriage’. *adds to basket*
Best for Luxury: Lelo
Not just a sex toy brand but a self-care movement, Lelo is revolutionising orgasms, reshaping pleasure and encouraging self-intimacy. Responsible for some of the most high-end products on the market, Lelo has a toy fit for everyone’s needs. Whatever your preference. If dual stimulation vibes are your thing and you want to drive straight into pleasure, try the Enigma (RRP £189). Offering exterior clitorial suction and gentle pulsations from the velvety smooth shaft, the Enigma flutters in all the right places. With an option to access both types of stimulation separately or together, this toy is guaranteed to provide intense blended pleasure every time. Thanks to the super flexible shaft, this toy can fit every individual person. And the toy’s shape means as you thrust in and out, you won’t lose any clitorial contact. Bravo team, bravo.
If self-teasing and controlling your orgasm turns you on, the Ina Wave 2 (RRP £179) will be your best friend. Stimulating the clit while also providing internal stimulation, it mimics the sensation of fingers and has 12 different intensity levels. With a sleek and skin like design, it fits comfortably in your hands but can also work completely hands free. Oh and it’s totally waterproof (shower time just got a whole lot more fun). An unbeatable champion if you ask us.
Best for Budget: Sweet Vibes
Not everyone has the privilege to drop £££ on expensive toys and actually, budget toys can be just as pleasurable. Especially if they’re from Sweet Vibes. Encouraging everyone to find their individual ‘sweet spot’, Sweet Vibes offer high-quality toys that don’t break the bank. Packing an absolute orgasm punch, tuLips (RRP £36) is the pocket rocket of the bedroom. Ahead of its time, this bullet vibrator stimulates the entire clitorious by resembling the sensation of a kiss. Allowing a more targeted approach to female pleasure that’s bang on the money, the edges of the toy run alongside the clit, covering more surface than other mainstream vibrators. With its ideal palm-size and placement of setting buttons, this toy can easily be operated with one hand. It also comes in a sleek travel case so you can take your pleasure with you wherever you go.
Alternatively, if you prefer dual stimulation, Charmed (RRP £37) is sure to be your good luck charm (wink, wink). Add a bit of pzazz to both your solo and fore-play with this soft and flexible wand massager. As a multi-functional toy, start by massaging yourself with the curved ending before sliding inside for an intense sensation. Don’t be fooled by the fact there’s only four vibration patterns. You can easily find your pleasure points using Charmed. Simple but very effective.
What else do I need in my sex toy sack for female pleasure?
A stack of sexy books and prompt cards
Start a sexually empowering book club with your friends. While we’re all different, this is a great way to encourage the women in your life to embrace self-love. Come As You Are (RRP £16.99) uncovers the truth behind female sexuality and helps people to discover what makes them tick. Alternatively, if instead of science, holistic learning is more your thing, pick up a copy of Crystal Healing and Sacred Pleasure (RRP £19.99). A map for self-discovery, this book teaches you how to harness the power of crystals through self-love and erotic spirituality.
Order yourself the Pleasure Oracle card deck (RRP £14.99). Really, do it now. A set of 52 stunningly illustrated cards for sex, intimacy and pleasure, this deck will guide you to explore your longings, desires and drives. Including themes of self-love, intimacy and erotic intelligence, pick a card and set your sexual power alight.
A yoni egg
Small but mighty, a yoni egg can harness the power of energy for sexual healing. A sacred addition to any intimacy kit, Thank Sunday’s Rose Quartz Yoni Egg (RRP £30) helps women to feel more connected to their divine self than ever before. As a stone that purifies the heart and opens it to love, the yoni egg is inserted inside the vagina, for anywhere between a few minutes to overnight. With a handful of healing benefits, they can strengthen the pelvic floor muscles. Utimately, providing you with more intense orgasms in the long run.
Keeping things clean
Dr. Bronner’s Baby Unscented Liquid Castile Soap (RRP from £2.39) has previously been awarded the best overall sex toy cleaner by The Strategist and its intimacy expert panel. Gentle and unscented, this soap is the perfect addition to any intimacy kit.
When exploring yourself, alone or with a partner, it’s normal to feel sore down under every now and again. Soothing discomfort and reducing inflammation, try a post-sex soak with Westlab’s Reviving Epsom Salts (RRP £4.99). Completely natural and unfragranced, the salts also maintain a balanced vaginal pH.
We hope you’ve found what you’re looking for and feel inspired to explore your sacred self. We expect equality in most other aspects of our life and it’s time to demand it in the bedroom. So, here’s to fighting the orgasm gap, together. We deserve it ladies.
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