Dreams about your Ex: Meanings, Symbolism and Interpretations

dreams about ex

Nocturnal hauntings from your ex, ooooh. I can sense the emotional stirrings from here. But it may not be as bad as you think. Then again, that depends on your personal situation.

No worries, I’ve gotchu!

Now, grab yourself your preferred poison. (not literally—a glass of wine, hot chocolate, or something)

Don’t forget a box of tissues and a pillow to scream into. (just sayin’)

Let’s shed some light on it and get snug.

Understanding the Significance of Dreams about your Ex

Worst case scenario, you’re not over your former boo. Best case, it was all random.

When we dream about loved ones or anyone, they’re usually shoe-ins for our beautiful personalitiesThe catch is we aren’t always aware of our awesomeness. Our dreams are ways to process and reveal what we don’t know. However, an ex-dropping in can make things complicated.

Here are the possibilities.

Exploring the Psychology behind Dreaming about your Ex

Was your former squeeze the last thing on your mind before you crashed? Were they the first thing that popped up when you woke up? If an old flame continues to haunt you during shut-eye, it’s your deeper self prodding you to pay attention.

You might still be processing residual hurts if the breakup was bad. Was the person your first love? Have you yet to cut the cord?

The cameo is likely your way of dealing.

Look at it as a fantastical journey into a window to what may still be simmering within. Think of the trail full of symbols and patches of images as a heads-up. Ask yourself if you’re still angry and if it’s time to soothe that ego.

Unpacking the Hidden Messages in Dreams about your Ex

• Emotional Vibe: I’m not gonna lie. Understanding the hidden messages can be a mission but not an impossible one. It all depends on what’s stirring in the soup of your psyche. An excellent place to start is getting honest about where your heart and head are at.

• Symbols: One sure way of unlocking the mystery of your dreams is using symbols. Think of them as Easter eggs. Your job is to figure out where they are and what they mean. (That’s kind of fun, no?)

• Archetypes/Dream Players: Simply put, people in your dreams are like actors playing a role. A clue to what they represent is how you see them and the space they take in your life.

Here’s an example:

Love and comfort pop up when it comes to Mom, right? When it comes to your ex, the person might have also been a pillowy cushion and played the hero at some point but may currently be seen as the villain. (The plot thickens)

The Different Interpretations of Dreaming About Your Ex

No two people are the same, and the same goes for dreams about your ex. Different dream interpretations offer a range of perspectives on what these dreams could mean.

Some interpret dreams about your ex as a sign of longing or regret, while others see them as a reflection of a need for healing and closure.

It’s important to remember that the meaning of dreams can be subjective, and only you can truly determine what resonates with your unique experience. As we explore the various interpretations, reflect on what feels most true for you.

How Dreams about your Ex can Reflect Unresolved Emotions

It’s an excellent time to get real about your feelings and if you’re still creeping their social media. Hey, it could just be finger reflexes. (cue the eye roll)

But if you’re secretly hoping for signs of linking up again, that can tell you something, too. Consider your reaction when your former flame appears. It will clue you into your current vibes.

Feelings of regret and guilt can take shade in your subconscious. When it’s linked to someone you care about, the burden can get you in a tizzy of what-ifs. They aren’t around any longer to talk it out or give you a chance to make amends.

We all try our best to deal with things. Grief is no joke. When unchecked, it can maraud its way into your subconscious. And turn your slumber into its ghoulish playground. This is especially true when you still have attachments to an old flame.

Getting ghosted or “caspered” can leave you with a sore spot. Sometimes deeper than you know until it pulses to the surface. The load can sometimes become a heavy burden to carry. And if connected to your past, it could be the messenger reminding you of it.

The Role of Symbolism in Dreams about your Ex

Broken Red Heart Between Sad Couple
Source: Istockphoto. Broken Red Heart Between Sad Couple

You know when your spidey senses tell you something is off? You can use the same instincts to understand the role of symbolism if your ex has hijacked your dreams.

Your dream feelings don’t lie.

Let’s take the ocean symbol and the natural elements around you as your vast emotion. The boat is the vessel for your emotions. These symbols can reveal your state of being and link to your feelings about the past.

Here are some examples:

• Loss of control: You can be in or watch the boat. It doesn’t matter. What matters is what’s going on around it. Was it rocking? At the mercy of the ocean tides? Such things can tell you about your own unstable emotions.

• Confidence and certainty: You see yourself walking towards the boat. The exterior is pleasing—let’s throw in luxurious— inside. You’re filled with excitement and optimism about the destination.

• Peace and tranquility: You’re on the boat, watching the waves skim and slice through its front. You get a sense of oneness with its motion as you look out into the horizon.

• Freedom: Include all of the above. Now add: You’re in control of the boat’s wheel. You feel the sun’s warmth while the birds fly high, and the breeze comforts like a blanket.

Common Themes and Scenarios in Dreams about your Ex

You can break the dream invasion into countless parts. Look into specific themes and scenarios. Then slice them into the oils, helping or pollutants killing the engines of your mind. The results can light up what’s hiding beneath the surface.

Let’s look under the hood to understand how your reactions and feelings tie into the contents of your dreams.

• Being rejected: This scenario clogs an excellent flow to your dream world. Even if muddled in layers of symbols, no doubt, you’ll feel it or become the eye-witness. 

• Seeing them with another person. Yes, this one cuts the deepest from the helplessness that comes with it. The good news, though, could be a sign pointing to acceptance.

• Getting back together. Don’t get your hopes up. If there’s one scenario not to be taken literally, it’s this one. It could just mean a wish fulfillment or nostalgia for what once was. 

• Big smiles, innocent curiosity. Whether you’re at the start of moving on or overcoming past hang-ups, take your casual response as a good sign when your former bae appears.

Analyzing the Impact of Past Relationships on Dream Content

Dreaming can be like taking an involuntary red pill to your past. Your deeper self can show you the truth through a reel of wonky images and symbols. The continuous mash-up of the past and present means it’s time to clear the cobwebs. Check-in on what continues to linger.

It’s not all bad.

Our minds are messy piles of experiences. Sleep helps to sort out that chaos. I would trust in that self-sorting and also trust your reaction.

Here’s an example:

So, say you dreamt of an older man in a vaguely familiar drip. If the style is linked to an old flame, it could very well be your noodles working out the past.

Tips for Interpreting and Analyzing Dreams about your Ex

• Self-reflection: it’s an excellent way to combine the enigmatic pieces for a personal take and understanding.

• Get real: if you’re still hung up on the past and want to move on, the only way to pump those breaks and steer in a known direction is to know where you’re genuinely at. 

• Stay positive: remember to find the silver lining, whether your dreams have a negative or positive link. This includes being in the know and the eventual growth attached.  

• Journalling: jotting it all down fresh from the dream is best. Your reactions are clear at that point, and the reels of your waking life don’t pollute the images.

Are Dreams about your Ex a Sign of Unfinished Business?

Short answer: Not necessarily.

Let’s look into the possibilities.

Unless you’re a self-proclaimed oracle channeling the future, I will lean to Freud’s theory: wish fulfillment. But for argument’s sake, say, there’s some proof in the pudding.

Some believe in twin flames or spiritual karmic ties to people. If you fit into that lot, the spiritual connection can play out in your dream world.

So it’s not a hard no.

But grounding it back to Freud, dreaming about your ex might open up a door to your hidden desires. Yet, the object of thirst may not be your ex, per se. He can just be pointing out that you’re not the happiest camper.

Can Dreaming about your Ex Indicate a Need for Closure?

Read if you’re still wondering why your former SO left you on. You’re obsessively checking your phone for messages. And the reels of your night’s eye flashes in the same longing and wishes then, yes. That’s obvious.

But it can be more complicated.

Most of the time, you’re veiled in the business of your day, and you might be squashing your emotions to get through. If this is the case and you’re hit with pain and agony during a moment of peace, then you might still need closure.

While we all have our own coping mechanism, the deeper it is buried, the higher the intensity felt when poked. The best way to unravel the mystery is to be that blunt friend to yourself. You know, the friend without a filter? Ask yourself if you’re really over it. Like REALLY over it.

Also, ask yourself:

How far you are from finally closing that door shut and if deadbolts are necessary to leave it behind for good.

Exploring the Potential Impact of Dreaming about an Ex on Future Relationships

Dreaming about your ex can be a good thing. They can serve as errand guides to your current emotional state if you’re in denial or have wiped the slate clean.

But hold up, is there really such a thing as a clean slate?

Let’s be real; we all have baggage. But it’s how we carry them, right?

Because things don’t just magically disappear; they only change faces, unlike the nice filters on Snapchat. The ugly ones, the ones we like to tuck away. (Wait, they do have ugly filters on Snapchat) You get my point.

If you’re hiding stuff about the past, about your ex, it can have a funny way of showing up in your dreams. So, to avoid the shock or cushion the blow, consider dealing with it as you go.

Think about the light, feathery results. You know you’ll have other things to worry about with your future relationships, right? Why add to the drams? Your future self will thank you for it.

Coping Strategies for Dealing with Intense or Unsettling Dreams about your Ex

  • Do you really want to get back with them? It can remind you that maybe it was more toxic than you thought. Get it out with a pen and paper for clarity.
  • Getting real about what you can and cannot control
  • Avoid going HAM when the flame of your past sparks its presence in your dreams. It could mean so many things.
  • Avoid feeding a fantasy. You could be feeding an uncontrollable beast during shut-eye.
  • Take steps to move on, even if they are baby steps.
  • Have daily affirmations. Think positive and positive things will happen.
  • Positive reinforcements. Surround yourself with good people who support you.
  • Most importantly. Breathe.
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An Astrologer, Creative Writer and Visual Storyteller, Mare has 20 years of astrological insight, seven years of professional practice and was a student of RASA Toronto. She is well-versed in the language of the stars, weaving her Scorpio energy to penetrate and unravel the complexities of a birth chart with her sociable and insatiable Gemini curiosity cleverly piecing the patterns together.

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