Practice some self-love this Valentines Day with these inspiring tips from Eating Psychology Coach and Self Love Expert Mel Wells. It all starts with loving your body…
Ditch the diet culture
All women on some level have been affected by diet culture or made to feel like we aren’t good enough based on how we look or the shape of our bodies. Start by identifying where this has shown up in your life then work to reclaim your power around food. Put your health and wellbeing first and start taking good care of you rather than taking good care of a number on the scale or a clothing size. This is a subtle yet huge mindset difference and choosing to choose to love you now will change everything, trust me.
Improve your relationship with your body
You are not your body, you HAVE a body – she’s yours to take care of, and the moment you realise that, things change. If you view yourself as being in a relationship with your body rather than defining yourself by it, you’ll start to bring all of the qualities of a great relationship to it: trust, respect, communication. How can you trust your body more? How can you respect your body more? How are you speaking to your body? In a way that you would speak to someone you love? Or not? Get into a constant conversation with your body every day. Listen to how she’s feeling and treat her as if she were someone you love, a girlfriend or your daughter. This is absolutely key on the road to self-love.
Let go of the idea of ‘perfection’
Chasing perfection is chasing an illusion. The fact that we even believe that something exists out ‘there’ that is perfect is exactly what is holding us back. As soon as you let go of that, something incredible happens… You can be YOURSELF. Reminder: you will never get a body that you love, by hating it. You will only ever get a body that you love by LOVING it, so stop telling yourself you’re only going to do that when she gets to a certain weight or size. And if you’re putting off doing anything in your life because your body isn’t ‘perfect’ yet, stop waiting. Start NOW. When you drop this idea of perfection, you can finally start embracing who you really are.
Feel it to heal it
Have you ever found yourself having a shitty day at work or going through a tough time with your partner and next thing you know, you’re halfway through a giant chocolate bar or on your way to finishing a whole bottle of wine? We’ve all done it, but these behaviours are actually just a way to numb out or suppress a feeling we don’t want to feel: rejection, anxiety, stress or any other uncomfortable/painful feeling. It’s a temporary comfort and distraction technique, so instead of trying to eat your feelings, allow yourself to actually FEEL them and see what happens. Get to the real reason behind your behaviour – what is it that you don’t want to deal with or be distracted from? When you can practice really feeling your emotions, you won’t find it necessary to bury your head in a tub of ice-cream instead.
Stop looking for happiness and start choosing it
If you look at happiness as a destination to reach or a number to hit, you either end up going round and round in circles telling yourself you’ll never be happy because you’re not ‘there’ OR you get ‘there’ and think, wait a minute, I’m here and I feel no different – why am I still not happy yet?! Why? Because attaching happiness to a number or achievement stops you from seeing that happiness was inside you ALL ALONG. All you need to do is choose it.